A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
