508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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