Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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