I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize