Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
