Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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