I heard we made out
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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