roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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