If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
