Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
