This is not my ceiling
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
