I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
