So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
They took my balls.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
