You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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