i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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