Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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