if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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