i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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