Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
