you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
