I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize