Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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