Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I would fuck him just for his dog
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
