I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
