i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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