did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
