at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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