so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
