My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We're too hungover to prance.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
