NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
