Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
