I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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