She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
