It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
