Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
