I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
