but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
