:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
