i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
