and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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