Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize