How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
