You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
