Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
