I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just googled if crying burns calories
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
