I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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