uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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