my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
