I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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