well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
