i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
