With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I love you. Go after that dick
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
