There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize