I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
