idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
