he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
