Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
