omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
