Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
